Last Saturday I spent a lovely afternoon with five amazing women that I would never have met if I hadn't had breast cancer. Actually, over the past year, there are a lot of lovely moments I would not have had if I hadn't had cancer.
The last year has been scary, the treatment has been unpleasant but I have been genuinely touched by the kindness and compassion I've received from everyone I know, quite literally, everyone. So I am dedicating this blog to all those people. It might make you want to puke in places, but hey, it's the season of goodwill so I'm spreading some, I am learning from first hand experience that life is too short to leave these things unsaid!
After I was diagnosed, I took four days off work to get my head around things and then went back to work full time until I started chemo a few weeks later. I'm naturally one of those people who gets stuck for words in difficult situations, I wouldn't have had a clue what to say to me when I turned up on that Monday so I could understand that I might have some awkward encounters, but there were none. Everyone in my office was so kind and supportive, I couldn't have asked for a more friendly working environment for those few weeks. When I returned to work after treatment I had to have a chat with an occupational health nurse, she warned me that my colleagues might have a difficult time knowing how to talk to me about my illness or treatment, so I had to set her straight and explain that I had already been back in work after my diagnosis and that everyone had been fine and really supportive. Maybe it's a generational thing? Perhaps my generation are more honest, open and compassionate?
A big thankyou to the people at work who complimented me on my hair, without knowing it was a wig, and then those who complimented me on my haircut without knowing I had just stopped wearing my wig! This has led to some very funny moments, and in all honesty I would be more offended if nobody noticed.
Right after my diagnosis when I was feeling my most scared was the time when I felt most loved, my family were so supportive, all of my best friends got in touch to say how much they cared. My best friend Helen couldn't do enough for me. I have read accounts of other people who go through a cancer diagnosis where they lose touch with some friends who find it difficult to deal with the situation. Again, it's not something I can identify with, none of my friends have treated me like this. If anything, I have more friends and am closer to some people than I was before cancer.
Half way through my treatment I found out about a Facebook group specifically for younger women with a breast cancer diagnosis. This has been my lifeline, and the most unexpectedly awesome thing to come from this horrible experience. Having cancer and treatment when you're young(ish) can be such an isolating experience, but since I've been a member of YBCN I've never felt isolated. We chat, ask questions, offer advice and support, it's brilliant. When I chat about my cancer experience to people I'll often refer to 'other women'.... These are the other younger women on YBCN, whose posts I read every day. It helps to know the way I feel and the way I have approached my treatment are completely normal. I'm spending New Year's Eve with some lovely people I've met through YBCN, a fitting end to 2014!
It was reading the stories of others online that inspired me to start writing this blog, which in itself has been such a lovely, positive experience. Something I never imagined I would be doing before I had cancer.
I'm looking forward to 2015, I've not had a wobble over buying a new diary this time. There are plenty more blogs to come, as much as I'd love to put cancer behind me forever I'm waiting on results of my genetics test and I need to have another operation for reconstruction at some point soon.
But in the meantime, Happy New Year and thank you xxxx
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